colz85

Yeah yeah yeah

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 03:32:01 GMT

Been awhile. I know.

Summer's gone. That makes me very sad. This summer has gone by SO FAST.

Anyway. In July we headed out to NY for a family reunion and our wedding convalidation. A few days first in Atlantic City, where I managed to win 600 bucks on the slots....the very day we had a 600 dollar car repair. Overall, we had a fun couple of days.

Then up to NY....stopping to visit an internet friend I'd never met in person. Had a great visit, and felt so glad to have made the stop.....hard to explain. But it was good.

Toodled around Long Island for a few days, even driving out to the Hamptons, where I stalked the Barefoot Contessa and even got a pic of her house.

So...pix. Here's our ceremony:

This is my favorite. We all look so happy. And I have concluded that I just look really huge in pictures. I mean, I know I'm a big person, but I do NOT photograph well. The priest is my dad's cousin (so is my cousin once removed) and my grandparents were married in this very church.

Here's a nice family shot with my parents and my sister and her boyfriend:

This cracks me up....my parents were in Russia and bought Steve a hat as a souvenir.

What else? Week before last I fired my assistant. THAT was something I don't want to deal with again any time soon. It was the right t hing for the organization, blah blah, but no fun.

Steve is going to RCIA with me.....not sure if he's going to convert or not, but I like that he's going with me. Many who know my would probably wonder what the HECK I am doing becoming Catholic, but it just seems right. It's bringing me some peace, some ease. And I guess that's what it's all about. I am not now nor will I ever fall in lock step with church policy on many things. And maybe it's just the priest of our parish, but the message I'm overwhelmingly getting is just about trying to move on and be a better person today than you were yesterday. And forgive YOURSELF for the times you fall short. I can sure use THAT, lemme tell ya.

Anyway. that's what's up.

tra la

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 03:02:34 GMT

Well. I hope LJ actually lets me post.

Same ol same ol around here. WEIRD weather this spring.   No real spring. It was cold, and it snowed in April....and then...HOT. It was 95 today.

Weird.

We got our commendation from the historical preservation organization last night. That was cool. In some seriously good company. Including Starbucks. Seriously. They took this and turned it into this. Pretty amazing, if you ask me. The giant windows in the seating area actually operate like garage doors, and can come up in nice weather.

What else? Got thrown under the bus by a co worker this week. I swear, she is emotionally 12 years old. Why do grown assed people act like such children?

Working on a killer burger recipe so I can maybe win some money. My first attempt at a Hungarian Stuffed Cabbage Burger was Meh.   Last sunday I made jam. YUM. Indiana strawberries.   Might need to do one more batch. Couldn't be easier, and so delish!

We just finished the frantic cleaning of the night b efore the cleaning lady. Oh, how I love Cleaning Lady Friday. I managed to clean the tiny bedroom. So now the only untouchable room is the serial killer room. And if Steve doesn't clean that soon, he's gonna be in deep doo doo.

Operation Catholic is coming along nicely.   We are all set for our Catholic marriage ceremony in NY. Steve refers to it as "making a clerical adjustment". My sister and her boyfriend are coming to the reunion, so they will be there, as will my parents. Any other family member who wants to be there can be....but I am really adamant about not making A Big Deal. I had my Princess Day, and that's when I had my big wedding. Not to say I don't take this one seriously, I do, and it will be special....performed by a cousin in the church where my grandparents got married 70 years ago.

I just p lain can't wait till vacation. Period. Exhausted. Can't wait to visit Atlantic City. Meet a friend in person for the first time. See my sister and her man. See my folks (just back from Russia, where mom managed to fall and break her shoulder). See family. Go into NYC. Just....be on vacation.

I'm a terrible updater!

Sat, 26 May 2007 02:07:18 GMT

But really...not that much happens. Life is going along, pretty much ssdd.

Today was Friday of The Cleaning Lady, and that makes me happy. Hap Hap Happy. I want to give her a raise and have her in every week....

Left work early and went to get my toes done on the spur of the moment. I'm pretty sure the pedicurist was chatting in Korean with her coworker about how disgusting I was with all the calluses.....on the bright side, my shoes should be less tight now.

Three day weekend ahead....fingers crossed that all goes well and neither the engineer or I get called We have no real plans, other than cleaning out Steve's Serial Killer Room. It's just....it's like one of those rooms on a tv show. UGH. IF we can get that clean and presentable (it's supposed to double as a guest room...ha!), and get the little bedroom tidied up, the only thing that would be completely out o f control would be the basement, and I could live with that.

I'm kind of bummed that we have nothing to do this weekend. It's Big Fun Cookout and Party weekend, and we've got no one to have fun with! Most of the time I'm ok with not having many friends.   Other times, I really wish we were better about making friends. Or better about getting invited places!

Now HERE is something exciting. Got a letter in the mail yesterday from the local historical preservation society. Apparently, we're being recognized for The Porch Project. And I quote: " your restoration of the front porch and facade at 4xxx Bexxx Avenue has earned a 2007 ARCH Commendation for restoration". There's a dinner and everything! We had to be nominated and then chosen by....I dunno, the deciders or something. But Steve's face just LIT up when he read the letter.   I'm so proud of him...he did such a great job.

Here's what we started with:

Seriously...I was beginning to loathe it. Every time I would drive up to the house, I would think "GAH. I HAAAAAATE that porch!"

Then we discovered why the previous owners put up black plastic and ugly lattice.....

And lookie...the pillars holding up the roof are resting on AIR!

So...a new brick wall, some extra support under the beam running under the porch, and things were all sturdy again.

I wanted to know what was under that ugly aluminum soffit. Sooooo.....

"Come on honey, let's see what's under there!"

Now we are about halfway through.....

I won't bore with more in progress pics.....suffice it to say there was lots of sanding and scraping and painting. And Steve fabricated "fake" pillars to cover where the porch enclosure had damaged the siding.

Here's what it looks like today:

Now I drive up and think "what a cute house!"

Here are my gardens:

In this pic, you can KIND of see a white object with flowers growing from it....that's the old mailbox from my gramma's house. I want to put it on one of the pillars.

My happy little pansies. And the peony that is going to bloom ANY DAY NOW

Another shot:

Veggie garden:

What WAS parsley and has been eaten by the damn groundhog....

The man I love building an emergency fence:

And truly..... it's his black socks and grampa shoes that do it for me......

Enough pictures? Thought so.

Where have I been?

Sun, 06 May 2007 22:23:37 GMT

Last week was craziness. It just was. The funeral last saturday was....a funeral. Ministers in the Hungarian Reformed Church are....Lugosi like. Their ministerial robes look like they were borrowed from Lily Munster. And the accent...

Steve commented "the funeral was like any other family gathering of yours...except for the dead body in a coffin." Yeah. We're like that. We took a family picture after gramma's funeral....hey...we were all there! But we were a little bleary eyed.....not the best picture, for sure.

I am feeling so stressed out. I just am. Need time away. It'll come, I'm sure.

Spent today working in the garden. Holy moly...I am old, fat, and out of shape! But I DO have peektures....

This is the teeny tiny veggie garden. Three heirloom tomato plants, one Hungarian pepper plant, and herbs. The owl and the bunny? Kitsch factor.

Next to the porch. I planted three day lilies in the corner, and I'm hoping they take off and give me lots of flowers. There are two rose bushes in the middle o f the bed. They are renegades. I had a rose bush there that in 8 years gave me like 3 flowers, so last year, I ripped it out. And two more popped up this spring.

They damn well better flower!

Here's the side by the driveway. Ignore those tacky broken bricks...they will be going. The green masses are all daisies....Went I went flower shopping, I actually GASPED at the Gerbera Daisies....such pretty colors! So they will provide nice contrast when all the white flowers are blooming. Planted a few marigolds, since they are Steve's favorite. The rest of the bed is New Guinea Impatiens...never planted those, usually plant the cheapie ones, but Steve bought the flowers, so I went with them. If they do as well as the others did last year, it should look really nice.

That's my gramma's mailbox....hung on her porch on East 32nd street in Lorain for probably 60+ years. I think I will hang it from a pillar or something. But if the petunia doesn't croak, it'll look sweet.

My Bleeding Heart. That stupid plant is just the happiest plant ever....it loves it there.

And these are my moron cats. I was on the porch reading, and they HAD to be SURE they knew where I was and what I was doing....

And here they are again. Claude sleeps peacefully, then Millie (in back) jumps ip and walks on him, then she snuggles him.

A little crabby

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 03:02:58 GMT

Not sure why.....but when Steve came home this evening I just looked at him and said "I feel like I need to be taken care of". Dunno. Work is busy, normal stresses, whatever.

Got word that my mom's cousin died the other day. So on Saturday, we head east a bit earlier than planned for the funeral. THEN we hang with my cousin and her husband and new kid. (they will be at the funeral too). Sunday is the baby shower. All of The Menfolk are going to an Indians game...my uncle got club seats, so they get to live it up in style.

I finished a sweater and booties. You know, it's really hard to make booties come out to be the same size! Bonus...you get to see parts of my messy dining room table! I get such a kick out of the fact that I start with a ball of yarn, and end up with....SOMETHING!

Not much else. Tired. So Tired.

Just another weekend

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 03:42:16 GMT

OH, how I wish weekends could be longer. They just go by so FAST.

So. Today. Slept in. Slammed water. Went to dr's office/lab and had blood drawn so i can be scolded this friday at my dr appt. Back in about 15 minutes. Dr. office is about 5 minutes away, and I arrived at a time where there was no line....so I didn't even have a chance to sit down before they called me. I LOVE saturday lab hours.

Steve went to visit his folks, I had girly lunch. Then off to church.

Back home. Crocheting like a madwoman. I finished the afghan, and I'm working on a baby sweater. Which looks like....a baby sweater! Go me! I took the blanket in to work for opinions from the women...who would say "ugh" if I looked like ass. They liked it. But ALWAYS...ALLLLLWAYS......there's someone who says "Ugh. I could never have time to do that" or "I could never sit still long enough to do that"....which I find annoying. I do it at night when the tv is on. and you can't eat when you're messing with yarn.

Got my new bike, rode it, put my back out in a big way. Luckily, I had a massage the next day, and t hat helped a lot. I was bummed today, and feeling a little guilty, because the weather was PERFECT, and I didn't ride......but my back is still hurting. Steve also pulled something, and from the noises he's making, you'd think he was birthing a watermelon out of his nostril. Whinnneeee. And the massage therapist even TOLD him that my spasms were so bad "they were standing up and waving". So Mr Whiny Pants is really annoying me.

Might try a ride tomorrow....got my new padded shorts....so they will need a test ride. Next weekend it's out of town for my cousin's baby shower, which should be fun, because it's also a family weekend, and those are always great.

There she is...my new bike!

And the other blankie

You have GOT to be kidding me

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 01:25:46 GMT

We had TWO INCHES of snow yesterday. Luckily, it got into the 50s today, and the snow is all gone. But yikes. Just yikes.

Uneventful weekend. Slept in Saturday. dinked around. Went to Mass. I'm freaking myself out, but while we were there, I just got this FEELING....that I was in the right place. So. Operation Be A Practicing Catholic is in full gear. My cousin suggested some stuff to read, so I ordered that. He is going to do our marriage convalidation this summer, which will be kind of special....it will take place in the same church my grandparents were married in. Just Johnny and us and two witnesses. I've always looked at being married like being pregnant...you are or you aren't. But Catholics are kind of big on the whole "married in The Church" thing, so I'll make sure those duckies are in a row. I'm excited and scared. I'm apprehensive because, well, I'm afraid people who find out will think I've turned into some kind of holy roller goody good. And that is SO not true!

What else? Too much food. Worked on a big story with our News Director last night and today. We'll voice it tomorrow.

Thank goodness, it's supposed to be warmer this week, so maybe I'll get my bike and be able to get out on the greenway. Let's hope.

Toodles.....

Clever Title Here

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 00:58:42 GMT

Seriously. Some days, thinking up a clever title is beyond me, and keeps me from writing anything!

Busy week at work. But good. Getting crap done.

Cleaning woman tomorrow, so I have to, well, clean up tonight. We aren't dirty, we are messy. So stuff needs to be put away. I seem to have lost the dining room table.....

Got another email from Cousin The Priest.

As for the "biggie": To be a Catholic means that we believe what we profess which is the Credo that we say together at Mass. We believe in God. We believe that Christ is human and divine. We therefore believe in the Trinity and the Resurrection. This unites all Christians. Catholic dogma also include two beliefs about the Blessed Mother: the Immaculate Conception and the Assumption. Everything else (including birth control, homosexuality, etc.) is very important but it is church teaching not dogma. Part of church teaching is that we all must follow our conscience fully informed. This means that as Catholics we assume that church is correct and that we therefore disagree only after serious and thorough study and reflection at which point the church requires that we follow our conscience. That is why Catholic who do not hold to the teachings are still considered Catholics by the church even though the church, of course does not like it at all when those folks disagree with what the church teaches. Many priests and bishops do not like this "follow your conscience" teaching so it usually best not to call the question with them. If you can embrace the Nicene Creed and the Blessed Mother you can be Catholic.

Keep those questions coming! XXOO

The bolding is mine. And sets my mind at ease a bit.

So. the journey continues.

This and that and stuff

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 01:58:15 GMT

Watching Dr Phil....amazingly insecure wife is bothered that her husband looks at other women. She thinks The Little Mermaid is "too sexy". I so do not get this. And it's always the pretty women who are all insecure. Cows like me...pfft....I'm the one who told Steve to keep the Playboy subscription (hey...I like the articles) and it really doesn't bother me if he looks, admires, whatever. Because the dude is married to me.

For being a non self confident person in many areas of my life, I have this one nailed down. Completely not worried in this area.

What else?   Internet was down at work most of yesterday. Do you have any idea how hard this was to deal with? And then our engineer found out what the problem was.....Verizon changed its IP addresses.   And didn't tell people like, oh, our service provider. So our email was going all over, bouncing hither and yon. No audio downloads. No messages from NPR. It was a very stressful day. Next time, I'm going home for my laptop and setting up at the nearby McDonald's...they have free WIFI.

My next baby afghan looks like ass. My "squares" are either rectangles or trapezoids. Or is it parallellograms? I'm going to complete it, but I'm not feeling too optimistic that it will be presentable.

So this past weekend, the little voice in my head told me to go to Mass. Now....understand....I was baptized in the Catholic church, but never confirmed. Never made official first communion. I got married in the Lutheran church because it mattered to Steve and not to me. So the little voice was...odd. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's listen to the little voice. I dragged Steve to Mass at a neighborhood church, and I have to say, I was touched by the service. (which went on FOREVER) I am really seriously thinking about attending regularly and finding out about being confirmed. Lots to think about. Because while at the bottom line, it's between me and god, there are lots of "rules" that I can't accept and be true to who I am. Luckily for me, I have a cousin (my dad's first cousin...he's mine....once removed or something) who is a priest. And I can ask him ANYTHING without fear that he will scold me for questioning or holding the beliefs I do. So I bottom lined it for him...can I be a pro choice, pro contraception, pro gay rights liberal and be Catholic?   Because I know that according to "The Rules", I can't. But I KNOW there are lots of practicing Catholics who don't follow the letter of the church law. But I feel like I would be a hypocrite. There is much for me to think about. And  I will. And I will ask my own personal priest for help!

We closed on the new radio station yesterday, and are playing an endless loop of Pachelbel's Greatest Hit. We're already getting phone calls from people who can't wait until we have the real programming on. That's set for May 1. This should be a good thing for the stations.

And really....that's all. Work is busy, weather is cold, same ol same ol.

Pathetic

Sat, 07 Apr 2007 00:04:38 GMT

Steve is playing poker tonight. Usually I get all excited about poker night, because I have some Alone Time in the house. But tonight I am just bored. I'm in the mood for girlfriends. Some nachos and beer and girl talk.

FEH.

A little on edge because it's the weekend and our network at work is messed up in some weirdo way that makes me unable to sign on via VPN. If we were to go off the air, this could be a Very Bad Thing, because the only way I would have to fix stuff is to drive in. The engineer is aware of the problems, so nothing for me to do but wait.

No big plans for the weekend. tomorrow we'll go to the SPCA and walk dogs. Sunday I'm making a ham for Easter. Same ol same ol.

Weather SUCKS. SUUUUCCCCKS. When it gets warm again, I think I'm getting a new bike, which makes me excited. I have issues when I ride in the traditional leaning over position, because my chest is so big....I'm supporting a lot on my arms, and my neck and wrists and elbows start to hurt a lot. So with a new bike fitted toward me, I should have fewer problems in that area, and be able to ride longer, blah de blah.

Boring right down to the journal....

Thank good ness THAT's over

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 01:12:07 GMT

The drive, I mean. Didn't make goal, but we're at an ok place, we understand the issues (namely an underpowered classical station that didn't pull anywhere NEAR its own weight), and we're glad with how things went.

And glad it's over.

While you as a listener might find find drives annoying, trust me on this one......we find them more annoying. And frustrating. And exhausting.

So after it was all over yesterday, we went out for food and drink. One of the people I work with is a volunteer with the local SPCA. She walks dogs on the weekend. We're sitting there at the table and she says "Come on, let's ALL go walk the dogs after lunch!". And we agreed. At least most of us did. We showed up at the SPCA, and I went to visit with the cats while everyone else went to walk the dogs. Though I did go out later, and fell in LOVE with a little girl beagle. Am taking Steve to dog walk next time, so he can meet her. He loves beagles. The cats cracked me up. Because cats are cats are cats. I walked in to give them some lovin', and most of them just looked up and gave me that Cat Stare. I loved on the ones that wanted to be loved on, and talked nice to the other ones.

I thought it would be sad, and my heart would break, but it didn't. I think it might if I were to do stuff at the county animal control, because they euthanize them. But the SPCA is no kill, so it's kind of like the kitty and doggy dorms. There are people loving them every day, and they are safe, and fed, and all that good stuff. And if they never find a forever home, they will still be loved.

But still. a lot of people really suck when it comes to how they regard and care for animals. There was the MOST adorable puppy (yea, yeah, aren't they all?) with a broken leg. Five weeks old. How did it get a broken leg? Little girl threw it across the room. How did it end up at the shelter? Family didn't want to pay to have it fixed. (just like they probably didn't want to have the mama dog fixed in the first place). Sweetest baby ever, and already has someone to adopt it. So happy ending there. But still. People, these are living beings. They feel pain, they feel fear. They get happy and sad. And they give you the most unconditional love....I daresay even more than any person ever will, family or friend. Your kid WILL one day scream and yell and call you names and screech "I hate you". Pretty sure your pet never will. All they want from people is love and kindness, and that's what they will give back. And yet. So many don't regard them as any more sentient than they would a piece of furniture.

Anyway. I was glad I went. And I will go back. Not all kitties are lucky like mine, what with the expensive furniture they get to claw and shed on.....

The flat pic is when I was pinning it down to block it. I'm still going to have to work with shaping it. It's not quite right....

Tomorrow is Steve's birthday, and I have NOTHING for him...

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 01:22:20 GMT

I suck! His computer died last week.....hard drive failed. So he's talking like the repair costs for that will be his gift. And I am so tired and at a loss for a gift idea, I'm about ready to sign off on that.

But at least I can get him a card, right?

Fund drive is going ok, but has me beat, for sure.

So. Here's a photo tribute to the birthday boy....

look...a baby boy! March 28, 1952. He was little.

Couple of weeks old, looking very much like a bird.

with mama

My favorite pic....Steve and his dad. Is it wrong to think my FIL was kind of hot?

He still looks like this when he sleeps.....

Nakey butt! There he is in his wide bar, lead painted crib......
First Sox cap!
With his baby sister and dad.

Kindergarten. Adlai Stevenson School in Chicago

What a dapper outfit!

An Easter picture. I call this "Steve. The Bing Crosby Years"

Fifth grade. Dude. Nice ears!

Sixth grade. Still have the ears....

Junior high, as they called it then...

Senior picture. 1969. I was two.

And here he is today......goofball.

Sometimes it freaks me out to think my husband is 55. that sounds so....OLD. but when we are together....you'd never know. We don't notice, we don't have any obvious gaps....we just fit. The only reason I wish he were younger is so we could have more time together.

Spring! Spring!

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 00:31:54 GMT

First off...I as condition of someone doing this meme on me, I have to post it here:

Comment and I will:
1 - Tell you why I friended you.
2 - Associate you with a song/film.
3 - Tell a random fact about you.
4 - Tell a first memory about you.
5 - Associate you with a character/pairing.
6 - Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7 - Tell you my favorite user pic of yours [if it pertains].
8 - In retort, you must spread this disease in your LJ

Walked out this morning to find a crocus had bloomed! YAY! The lilac has buds, the daffodils are coming up. Spring spring glorious spring!

We're in fund drive mode at the station this week....started with a "jump start" on Thursday. That was a 10 hour day. Friday....another 10. Yesterday...about 5. The rest of the week will be in the ten hour range. Being fundamentally lazy, I like things in the 8 hour range.

But I had today off, and that was cool. Slept in. Read the paper. We went to a nearby open house. Foreclosure that the bank just wants to be rid of, I think. A STEAL on that road. This house is also on that street. IF we were in SERIOUS "let's find a house" mode, we'd think seriously about this one, but it DOES need a lot of cosmetic work. The kitchen is MOSTLY redone. New appliances, new backsplash.

And a PAINTED floor. They PAINTED the wood floor. They did that in a bedroom as well. The picture of the entry way? They painted NATURAL STONE yellow. The wood floors need to be refinished, the bathroom needs to be redone, and pretty much all the bedrooms need to be repainted.....there was some faux finishing gone VERY wrong upstairs! But the bones are good, the mechanicals look good. There's a porch off the living room that's beautiful, and the back yard is fenced and lovely.

But we already HAVE a house that needs floors refinished and rooms repainted!

After the open house, it was on to Target. Which was experiencing a power failure at the time. But like good little Americans, we were shop shop shopping away! Spent about a hundred bucks and bought a lot of exciting stuff like soap refills and socks and a new grate for the grill. Wheeee.

Home with an artery clogging coney dog lunch. (what is WRONG with me of late? Lived my whole life here w/o eating at "famous coney island", and now I can't get enough of them.

After lunch I hit the bike. Didn't go far....path is flooded in places, and one boardwalk is still closed, so there's no good way for me to get north, and get a longer, more interesting ride. Cuz our roads scare me. Get my ass run over out there!

Home now. I finished a baby afghan yesterday, going to start another. Someone is always having a kid!

Interesting experience yesterday. We decided to go out to a local place for lunch. We're seated...and the table behind us is a couple with FIVE, yes FIVE small kids. They have to be all under 10. So I was immediately expecting we'd have a....loud lunch. Then I glanced again. The dad was a guy I went to high school with. Actually first grade...and after a saw a couple of the boys, I laughed, because they looked just like their dad at that age. The mom was GORGEOUS in that thin blonde manicured way. And I wanted to hate her. Then I heard her talking to the kids. Who were quiet...or, appropriately noisy...not screaming or whatever, just talking. And if they got a little...over the top, she chilled them out with a quiet remark. I was really amazed, because these were two people who were really PARENTING their brood, and it wasn't harried, or frantic or anything. Dad was making sure the little ones were eating their mac and cheese....it was just really amazing to me, because around here, it's screaming kid central, with parents who have no idea how to keep two kids from being a tornado, let alone five. We were all leaving around the same time, , so I went to the dad and introduced myself, you know, the whole "we went to school" thing. And then I just said what a pleasure it was to eat by their kids who were the best behaved kids I'd seen at a restaraunt in a long time. And Beautiful Mom looked at me and said "really?! I was grumbling under my breath at them!" They were a beautiful family...and not JUST in their looks. It was obvious there was a lot of love going on there.

Kind of warmed my little cynical raisin heart.

Here's a good indication of what my city is like

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 21:12:50 GMT

Our evening newspaper has a weekly feature called The Rant. It could also be called "We think change is bad, the old days were better, and politicians are all crooked, and dammit, we want to SMOKE!"

I don't know why I read The Rant. But I do. And every week, it pisses me off.

Why do I do this to myself?

I get frustrated at the people complaining about property taxes. First of all, the state has recently redone assessment formulas to make them more closely reflect actual market value. And yet. I have a three bedroom house in the city, in a nice neighborhood, and my annual property taxes are FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. A MERE 500 dollars, I will say. I mean sheesh. In the fancy areas, yeah, there are some pretty high property taxes, but lemme tell ya, our sitch is pretty average.

Anyway. The attitude of people here just frustrated me so. New ideas are immediately suspect. We're still longing for back in the day. What jelled it for me one time was watching our local summer parade on tv, and the announcer was talking about the Navy Club's float. "It's built on an International Harvester Truck chassis, and the body is made of Joslyn Stanless Steel."

Guess what? Neither of those companies is here any more. The IH complex is now a complex leasing to different businesses. Where 10, 000 people used to work, 1000 do. And Joslyn? It's a division of Valbruna, and near as I can tell, not much is going on there, either. Oh, except that it was part of the early nuclear program, with radioactivity and stuff, so who knows what's REALLY in that place....

Perhaps i shouldn't read The Rant.

And perhaps I should eventually move.

Fort Wayne. So fond of its past because it lives there.

Oh for cryin' out loud!

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 23:11:10 GMT

Steve's family is...not like me. Or I'm not like them. Something. Very religious, very conservative. His one sister is a total Goody Two Shoes, all Jesusy and Boy Scouts and holier than thou. His other sister, the one who lives closest, is a total middle class uber yup cliche.

Last week we got an email saying she and the kids would be in town during "spring break", and let's all meet up for dinner. Cool. I suggested some places, wanting to focus on local places and not Olive Garden and Applebee's and all that. Not that I'm all snobby about those places, I like 'em fine....but she can eat there any time where she lives.

She lives in the Indiana equivalent of Stepford. Look at the demographics. NINETY TWO percent white. (Steve and I laughed at the .2% Pacific Islander stat...that must be her husband, who is Phillipino) Only ONE PERCENT below poverty level. It's like a white bread bubble!

Anyhoodle. I suggested a couple of local places, including a diner that is WONDERFUL. Run by a Greek family, so they serve Greek food. And American food. And Mexican food. It's just great. Huge menu, great service, great food. What's not to love? Well. I get back this email: "Is that the place by the strip clubs? Because that area looks sketchy!"

Yes. I'm going to suggest a DANGEROUS place for us to eat. I nicely wrote back that yeah, there are some "boobie bars" in the area, but I work about two minutes away, eat at the diner regularly, and I have never felt unsafe. But we could do whatever she wanted, just let me know!

But I was a little insulted. I mean come ON. I'm thinkin' she'd NEVER set food in my favorite Mexican place. I probably looks to her sheltered eyes like the middle of the 'hood.

And it IS painted orange.

I've never thought of myself as having some kind of great sense of adventure. But apparently, for Indiana, I am a wild child. I live in the city limits! I walk in my neighborhood at night! I go downtown! Alone! I eat at non chain restaurants! Clutch the pearls!

What is it about people that makes them want to be like everyone else? To live in beige neighborhoods with rules about what color mailboxes you can have? To never have to see things that are different, or challenging, or upsetting?

Maybe I am not being fair to her. Because you never know another person's experiences. But it is often hard for me around her, because I feel judged. Her life is so perfect looking. Perfect house, perfect cars, perfect church. Blah de blah.

Now. If you'll excuse me, my dealer is calling......

Hm. Goat cheese.

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 22:30:52 GMT

Another weekend gone. Dang....much faster than two weekdays, for sure.

yesterday was lunch with friends at the Mexican place. HEAVEN. Good company, out of this world food....I just had a great time.

Husband is in crisis because his laptop died. He took it in, and we're fearing a dead drive. He had much of the stuff backed up on a USB drive....but not all of it.

I've spent much time with the crochet hook in hand. My cousin's baby shower is next month, and I need to finish my half finished baby afghan. I love family showers....we just all have such fun when we get together. So a lot of crocheting and watching Court TV. I'm loving Dominic Dunne's show. It's like rich people gone bad....

Didn't get any riding in....kind of chilly this weekend, but thank goodness for the sun.

This week at work is calm before the fund drive storm. We have "jump start" on Thursday, and the big event starts on Friday. Whee. Talk about long weeks. Sheesh. ten days, twice a year, and it seems like the other drive ended just yesterday.

I got Suzy Housewife this afternoon and made dinner for tonight and tomorrow. Both Barefoot Contessa recipes. I made her Lasagna with turkey sausage tonight. Never made it before. Probably won't again....it has goat cheese in it, and I'm just not lovin' it. tastes like feet or something. That won't stop me from eating it for lunch tomorrow, though. Tomorrow night's dinner is Indonesian Ginger Chicken. It's marinating now. I've made it several times before....it has four ingredients....soy sauce, honey, garlic, ginger. Marinate overnight, bake in the oven. YUM. Delish over rice. So. Dinners are planned for the week. We manage things much better when we're not having the 4 o'clock panic.

Yeah. It's a laugh riot here. It ain't bad, but it ain't exciting!

My Grams

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 02:30:29 GMT

Today marks 34 years since my Grams died. I was five. I remember my dad telling me. He took me for a ride in the car. We got home, and were talking in the driveway. He told me "Grams died yesterday". My whole body was paralyzed. I still remember the feeling. Like...numb. I thought "I can't move. I should get out of the car and go inside with dad, but I can't move". He picked me up and brought me in.

In November of 1909, in the Park Slope area of Brooklyn, Catherine Constancia C0ughlan was born. She had an older sister, Agnes. Her father, Jeremiah, was an attorney in Manhattan. Kay, as she was called, ended up with two more sisters, Helen and Mary, and a brother, Joe. At some point, her parents split up, but didn't divorce. (they were VERY Catholic, you see) The mom and kids moved to Glen Cove, on Long Island, where the "C0ughlan Girls" were pretty and popular and oh so smart....each one graduated at the top of her class. Kay was smart and pretty and a very good athlete. She went to Saint Joseph's College in Brooklyn, where she was captain of the basketball team. What's interesting about this is that if Kay stood over 5 feet tall, it was because she was standing up very straight.

Here is her graduation picture:

After college, she did some social work in the Italian areas of NYC. It's where she learned to make an excellent red sauce.

Some time during the early to mid 1930's Kay and her sisters were spending time in The Hamptons. A young man in the CCC, Gene C0ndron, was working with Agnes' husband Joe. Ags arranged for Gene to have a date with her sister Helen. Gene and Helen went out and had a lovely time. But when Gene brought her home, he saw the above picture of Kay at the house, and, well, Helen and Gene didn't date any more.

In 1935, Kay and Gene got married at St Patrick's Church in Glen Cove. The bride had the chicken pox.

Like most couples of that time, they started their family soon after they were married. In March of 1936, at Southampton Hospital, Southampton NY, Suanne Marie was born. In December of 1939, John Eugene Jr, "Jack" was born.

Gene was in the AAF. After December 1941, his career picked up, and he was away a lot. During the war, Kay lived in Glen Cove with her sisters, and all of their kids played together, and the sisters listened religiously to the news, for news of the war, while they prayed for their husbands.

The husbands all made it back safely, and all but Gene returned to civilian life. Gene was career Air Force. The family moved to Pittsfield MA, where Gene's family was from. He was away often, and sometimes for a long period of time. It wasn't like now, when service people can email and sometimes use cell phones. One time his children said goodbye to him and didn't see him for 18 months.

Kay took care of the household. Like so many in the C0ughlan family tree (including myself), she battled depression. Also like many in the family, she treated it as most people of the time did....by periodically turning to alcohol. Drinking was part of the family culture, so it's hard to know when it became "a problem". It probably never appeared to be a problem....the children were looked after, appointments and obligations were kept, but I'm sure she often looked forward to cocktail hour a little more than she should have. (in the end, 4 of the five siblings had alcohol problems, one dying as a direct result of a drunken fall, and both of her children had substance issues)

After the Korean war, Gene was stationed at a base on the island of Okinawa. The good news was that he could take his family.    Well, not so much take the family as be joined by them. So arrangements were made, and Kay and her teenage daughter and pre teen son sailed from San Francisco. On a troop ship. For WEEKS. A troop ship full of soldiers shipping out. And her beautiful 14 year old daughter.

Yeah.

So there they were, at Kadena Air Force Base, living in a Quonset hut. But a nice quonset hut...it had a screened in porch.

That's my aunt, my grams, the dog, and Beaver Cleaver there is my dad. And of course, Gramps.

When they came back to the states, Gene was stationed at The Pentagon, and the family lived in Arlington, where the kids went to high school. After The Pentagon, Gene was transferred to Wright Patterson in Dayton OH, where he worked until retirement in 1964 or 65 or so. Kay made many friends on the base, played cards and was a champion golfer. She did volunteer work in the community.

In 1964, her son got married, and she hosted a reception at their home on the base. After Gene retired, they travelled a great deal. One of their favorite places was Barbados. In 1967, they became grandparents, and Kay doted on her granddaughter, who adored her right back. In 1970, they had another granddaughter to love.

In 1973, Gene and Kay went on an overseas trip. On March 14th, while they were in Spain, Kay died. She was napping in the hotel room while Gene worked a crossword puzzle nearby, and when he went to wake her, he couldn't. She never made a sound.

Here is her passport photo from her last passport:

Catherine was buried in Arlington National Cemetary. In 1998, Gene joined her.

I wish I knew more about my grams. I know she introduced me to tunafish and onions on thin sliced Pepperidge Farm bread. Lemon Cooler cookies. (why oh why don't they make those anymore?!?!) She made great spaghetti and meatballs. She is why I'm the only one in the family to grab my towel and bring it in the shower with me to dry off. I still remember her giving me a bath when I was little, and drying me off in the tub, telling me that it was warmer that way. She was right, you know. I use the word "stew" the way she did...to mean "worry". Her favorite color was yellow, which is why I made sure to have yellow flowers in my bouquet when I got married. When I was little, I thought "contadina" tomato paste had something to do with her middle name. And of COURSE, Special K cereal was just for her....

But I don't really have any of her "traits", I don't think. My physical stuff is ALLLLL my maternal grandmother, except my small feet, which came from my maternal grandfather.

I think grams came to me once as a ghost. I was a kid at the zoo. And I can see it clear as I can see Steve across the room. I came down across a bridge, and right at the fork in the trail, there was this woman....different hair style (and really, Kay would have ALWAYS been current!), but I could have SWORN it was my grams. I was in elementary school at the time. And I just got this.....feeling.

Maybe she w anted to check on me. Dunno.

I have some of her "stuff'. She had two sets of china...my sister has one, I have the other. I ate off those dishes the day my sister was born. I have her dining room table. The coffee table from the place on Okinawa. Her sewing chest.....she kept the letters she got from my gramps when he was away in the bottom drawer. When I took home the sewing cabinet, some of her stuff was still there. Needles, thread, scissors, matchbooks. And a rosary. Not her "main" rosary, which my aunt had, and now Grams' niece has. But I'm sure it was hers...it is yellow. It hangs by my bed now. And what I really love....a little rustic footstool. She always had it in front of her chair, resting her feet on it since she was so tiny. So some nights I sit here doing the same thing.

I'm sorry if this was long and boring. It's what's on my heart right now. I still wish she hadn't left me when I was so small. What would be different about my life if she'd lived longer? If I'd known her better? If she'd known what kind of person I turned out to be?

Well. I'm sure Gramps told her when he got there.

Love you grams.....

Stardust: 1958-2007

Wed, 14 Mar 2007 00:45:03 GMT

RIP

I know, seems silly to mourn a Las Vegas hotel, but it was one of the classics. The Sands is gone, so's the DI. Caesar's is so huge now you can get in, you just can't find your way out. The IP is on borrowed time, and how the Barbary Coast has survived this long, I don't know.

I love Las Vegas. I do. And I know the hip thing is to make fun of LV and its visitors. And yeah, when I'm there, I'm pretty bovine myself, dressing for comfort and wearing a fanny pack....

But it's fun. I love a place where you sleep late and stay up all night.

And it has.....

Who I find delicious. And an amazing performer.

anyway. The first time we went to LV together, we stayed at the Stardust. And I remember one afternoon, out at the pool, sitting in my lounge chair, looking at the gorgeous blue sky, peering through the palm trees, and seeing that iconic sign looming overhead.

And for a moment, I thought I saw Sinatra......

We had our first taste of spring this weekend and today. Got my fat Hungarian butt on the bike Sunday. Did NOT wrestle said Magyar heinie in the padded bike pants, and THAT was a mistake. Yeowch. Did an hour Sunday, which I was pleased about. One way cool thing our city has is a nice and growing greenway system.   (and if you DO look at the map, take note of the street name just above the word "joseph" printed in blue. Yeah.   He was a mayor. They have a hard time keeping that street sign there.....)Well kept trails, and they are now joining the city trails to those in the burbs. Most exciting. Went again today....and DID struggle into the bike pants....wise choice. I was bummed today because part of the path was closed off.....we had a big thaw in the last week, and there were some serious ice floes, some of which damaged a portion of the boardwalk. It's a bad spot....the only place I can get north into the city and beyond....so I hope it gets fixed. Then I can be startled every time I go under a bridge and see a homeless guy who has set up housekeeping......

So. Taste of spring, and it was delish. I'm going to make a concerted effort to log more bike time this summer. It's supposed to cool off again at the end of the week.....but spring WILL come.

Had shrinker lady today. Some interesting stuff, mainly work. Fund drive starts at the end of next week.

Shoot me now.

requested (?) meme

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 22:55:07 GMT

I'm on KAMSTILL's list, and she requested her friends do this meme.

1. Can you cook? Yes
2. What was your dream growing up? To be out on my own, in control of my own destiny.
3. What talent do you wish you had? SINGING!
4. Favorite place? On a cruise ship somewhere. Or anyplace my husband is
5. Favorite vegetable? Asparagus or peas
6. What was the last book you read? Jesus Land
7. What zodiac sign are you? Leo
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Ears
9. Worst Habit? Not exercising. Kind of an anti habit
10. Do we know each other outside of Livejournal? No
11. What is your favorite sport? Figure skating
12. Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude? Oh, probably negative.
13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me? Make jokes
14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? Oh, probably anything having to do with O'Hare airport.
15. Tell me one weird fact about you. I'm kind of obsessed with murder shows. American Justice, Cold Case....that sort of thing. Or maybe I just have a crush on Bill Kurtis....
16. Do you have any pets? 3 cats
17. Do you know how to do the Macarena? no
18. What time is it where you are now? 5:51p
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? sad, actually
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I'd be thin.
21. Would you be my partner in crime or my conscience? Yes. heh.
22. What color eyes do you have? Blue
23. Ever been arrested? Nope
24. Bottle or Draft? Whatever
25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? Pay bills, save some aside for a nice vacation.
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? Bubble Yum
27. What's your favorite bar to hang at? Mad Anthony
28. Do you believe in ghosts? Sure
29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Read or play on computer
30. Do you swear a lot? not too much
31. Biggest pet peeve? people who ALWAYS think they are special and don't have to follow rules.
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Verbose
33. In one word, how would you describe me? Smart
34. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? Done

Sheesh. Where have I been?

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 03:19:44 GMT

Been bored with normal stuff, I guess. Playing with the crazy pills. Lexapro seems to be doing the trick. I think. I really liked the "rush" of the Wellbutrin, but the side effects...not so much. Lexapro doesn't seem to be doing anything bad. But it does make me look SO forward to going to bed at night! My night owl ways are becoming a thing of the past.

My sister gave me a book at Christmas time....she was reading it at my parents' house, and when she finished it, sent it home with me. Jesus Land . This is the first book in AGES that I have not been able to put down. Interesting, infuriating, sad....moving. My first interest was because much of it takes place in Indiana...in an area where I lived for a few years. So I'm familiar with the setting. And the stupid rednecks. But if this had taken place on the moon, I would have been enraptured by it. So if you come across it....worth a read, for sure. I started it Sunday night, finished it tonight, and it's 360 pages long.

In other news....fighting a cold. Been fighting since Saturday. I actually think the Airborne and Emergen-C and Zicam are doing the trick.....it never really turned into a full fledged cold, but settled into a kind of junky cough. On the bad side, I infected Steve.

Bad wife!

Well. That was an ego boost!

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 18:53:16 GMT

I sent a blurb into my college alumni magazine for the Class Notes section. Basically said life was good, and that we spent the summer redoing the porch and spent our time taking ballroom lessons. No biggie. (this is a SMALL college....there were about 250 in our class, 1000 at the college overall)

Hi Colz: Saw your piece in the Ha***** and was glad to hear that

your life has been "very, very good". I would have predicted that way

back in the 80s. You had class and balance back then and I'm sure

those qualities have improved over the years. <snip of small talk>. Peace -

Dr. K.

He was one of my academic advisors. I had two majors, so two advisors. He was a great professor. A former Catholic Priest who left the priesthood to become a family guy. Just an INTERESTING person.

And he remembers ME. Me. AND made the effort to send an email. As a point of reference, I was a freshman in college in 1985. That was a LOOONNNG time ago.

So that made me feel good.

Looking back, I really went to an exceptional college. I just didn't know it at the time.

Sigh of relief

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 18:03:38 GMT

Taxes filed. Efiled. Done. Fini. Complete. Last year we had to pay, and this year we're getting back about 1500, so I'm good with it. As long as we don't have to pay. And that will be a nice hunk to throw at the "debt snowball". Or use to pay for the NY trip we are still planning for summer. I dunno. Since we're kidfree, I don't suppose we will ever get big refunds, but that's ok....as long as we don't owe!!

Well, the world was supposed to end overnight in an apocalyptic ice storm, but alas, it's just a little slushy out there.

Haven't done much this weekend. Seriously. Spent much of yesterday playing on You Tube. Man, there is SO MUCH stuff you can find. And one thing reminds you of something else, and there ya go....and it's midnight.

Station function on Friday went well. I actually met up with an old friend I hadn't seen since we were 17. She and I had spent a lot of time together in high school....we actually went ice skating a lot. She transferred out senior year, and we were never in touch after that. I was standing there chatting, and saw this woman who looked very familiar, and asked if she was so and so. She was, and she immediately remembered me....thank goodness. So we had a quick little visit, and I told her I wondered often how she was, and had just been thinking of her a few weeks ago. So that was nice.

So. some laundry is going, no thank to me. Taxes filed...big yay. supposed to go to skating practice tonight, IN COSTUME for pictures. Bleah. I'm not really sure if I need to practice with the team for awhile....I'm not skating in the upcoming show.

Hoping next week is not too crazy at work. But one never knows....

A vocabulary peeve

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 21:12:57 GMT

ATTENTION: The following two words have been appearing EVERYWHERE I GO ONLINE, and they are INVARIABLY used incorrectly.

If someone is really persevering and keeping at it, they are a TROUPER, not a TROOPER. Trouper...from "the show must go on" vaudeville TROUPES.

From M-W: Function: noun
1 : a member of a troupe; especially : ACTOR
2 : a person who deals with and persists through difficulty or hardship without complaint <you're a real trouper to wait so long>

The other word is phase/faze. "Oh, blood doesn't phase me at all" is WRONG WRONG WRONG! It's FAZE.

Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): fazed; faz·ing
Etymology: alteration of feeze to drive away, frighten, from Middle English fesen, from Old English fEsian to drive away
: to disturb the composure of : DISCONCERT, DAUNT <nothing fazed her>

I swear to you, I have seen these both used incorrectly so often, I'm starting to doubt which is the right version.

And let's not even go into lose/loose. Or advice/advise.....or...or...or....

So did I mention that the Wellbutrin seems to be making me.....um...CRANKY? (Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): crank·i·er; -est
Etymology: ¹crank
1 a : given to fretful fussiness : readily angered when opposed : CROTCHETY <our long wait...left us a tad cranky -->)

Yeah. I think my husband is slightly scared of me right now. I almost went apeshit on him the other day for buying a package of tostada shells that were ALL BROKEN. Kinda...um...overreacting a bit. Just very snappish. VERY. Had a dr. appt today....the annual check up, and I talked with her about the wellbutrin...irritablility, the frickin' disgusting and nausea provoking dry mouth....the anxiety......and I said I was just really "aware" of being medicated, something that was never an issue when the 'zac was working. I just felt like ME........she was patient and helped me figure out what to do next...which is try lexapro and see how THAT works.

Sigh. Initially I had such hopes.....oh well. Something will work out. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Dance lesson tonight. Friday night a station function. Then nothing much, I guess.

Work is work is work is work. Busy, but ok. One thing that IS making me a little crazy is the constant flurry of activity. There are a lot of high energy people here, flitting about all day long, and sometimes it gets to me....it's a cube farm where people think nothing of yelling across the room if they have a question. Let's just say, the train of thought gets derailed A LOT around here....

Choo choooooo

Finally, over!

Mon, 19 Feb 2007 03:49:26 GMT

We placed third. Out of three. But we knew that would probably happen. Our program was really good until the end, and the wheels all came off. We really need more difficulty if we're going to compete with the teams we skate against. We're fast....we skate very fast for a bunch of old people. But we need more difficulty.

Anyway. Pictures? Of course. I hate how I look. I want to crawl in a hole.

Here we are before the program starts. I really thought my legs were....not that huge.

Look, we are skating in a circle!

The "Red Rover, Red Rover" portion of our program.

And the crowd loves kick lines.....

So. I was a NERVOUS wreck yesterday....dry mouth to the point of nausea, just.....anxious. I decided not to take my crazy pill this morning, and I gotta say....the lack of cotton mouth was refreshing, and I feel much more chilled out. Definitely must talk to the dr. Perhaps a lower dose? I liked the mood elevation of the first few days, but my anxiety level has gone thru the roof. At least for me.....I was pretty mellow about stuff when I was on the 'Zac. I was just starting to not feel.....right. I feel much better today...coincidence or drugs? Dunno.

We stayed at a Hampton Inn....and lemme tell ya...their new beds? Heaven. Or it would have been, had I been able to sleep. We got there around 7, and had to go to the rink for practice at 10:30. At night. Steve and I got into our usual bickering when we go someplace and can't find it. For whatever reason, I NEED him to just have it handled, and get me safely delivered to where I have to be. It was fiasco city, and I was thisclose to being late....and it's not like they can wait...the practice was set for ten minutes....start on time, end on time. Part of the trouble is because he and I have different definitions of "on time". I think early is on time. For instance....if our dance lesson is at 6:15, we need to be there around 6:10...so at 6:15, we are ready to dance.....

anyway....

We had a room with a Fancy Tub. Didn't get to use it. But I question the design:

Yeah. that's a big hole in the wall into the room, and there's no door or anything. Weird.

I took tomorrow off. SLEEEEEP! Hm. I hate Sundays a lot less when I don't go work on Monday. No real plans.

had to laugh when I was packing up my stuff yesterday. I went to get some stuff from the linen closet. And I guess that was Lori the Cleaning lady's project for the day. I thought it was in fairly decent order. Nope....I should take a picture. It's one of those old fashioned ones...a cupboard and three drawers. It could be in a magazine now.

rambling. 'night.

Competition weekend

Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:42:38 GMT

Sitting home waiting for Steve to come home from an out of town work thingie so we can leave for OH. Where I will wear this:

Yeah. Actually, as far as potential skating costumes go, this one isn't that bad. I tried it on with and without a "foundation garment", and found that it looks just as good without a girdle. Yay.

As normal, I went through my skate bag. And I'm sure what in my skate bag is desperately interesting, so here is a picture:

Apparently, I am collecting over the boot tights. Four pairs. Two black, two nude. What else? Patch and medals from previous competitions. Extra boot laces. Soaker guards and hard guards. And my skates, of course. Klingbeils. Ten years old this summer. Custom made for my little feet.

Thrilling, no? Wait until later when I post pictures of practice and competition.

Snowed today, but I don't think the roads will be affected. The trip is three and a half to four hours. Get there, check into hotel (which will be OVERRUN with shrieky little skaters. And their moms. Who are just as bad), get some food, wait around until we have practice.

At eleven tonight.

Yeah.

We skate just before noon tomorrow, and we're the last group before on ice awards, so we can probably leave soon after.

For whatever reason, I'm more anxious about this one than usual. It's two and a half minutes, for pete's sake.

Oh man. Watching "How Clean is Your House" on BBC. I have a really strong stomach, but this show always gets me. We might be untidy, but we are NOT filthy. I can't believe otherwise mentally healthy people could live like this. Yikes.